Just in time for the 2009-2010 football season, here is Madden 10! As with this year, I did not watch the Super Bowl. In fact I don’t recall watching or going to any games that year. At least this year I caught a game or two on TV. But I kept procrastinating on making my pick for who I thought would be at the Super Bowl. I figured the Chiefs again, but I couldn’t even tell you which 16 teams would’ve been contenders to be their opponent.
So as an FU to political correctness and in solidarity with the Indigenous Peoples that white liberals tried to erase, I picked the Washington Redskins even though I know that neither now nor 14 years ago nor any time in between were the Redskins/Commanders ever capable of making it to the Super Ball.
Since I brought up white liberals and am talking about football, I have to bring up (sigh) Taylor Swift. Some poll showed that she could sway up to 18% of voters because her shallow lifestyle that’s written by a PR staff- and her songs passing the blame onto the male half of the relation- appeal to lonely/idiot women, ie: Democrat voters. So my take is that it’s not so much that she’d sway 18% of the population, rather it’s that 18% of the population happens to vote the way she’d tell them to on their own. If that 18% didn’t think Swift would tell them to vote Democrat, they would never have been her fans, probably have cancelled her by now, and she’d die a penniless pauper instead of being a billionaire feeding off the insecurities and mental illnesses of white liberal women (and someone who, between her concerts and jet-setting lifestyle, pollutes more than some countries, something liberals seem ok with these days as long as you say the right thing after).
But as to the NFL plastering her face all over the place to try and bring those women who previously boycotted them and tried to disband them into the fold? Genius. It’s annoying to keep seeing SwiftCam (TM) but at the same time it’s hilarious that all these women that listen to her music and hated football because it was toxically masculine/only for rightwingers/kills people and needs to be replaced by soccer now changed their minds. Leftists used the term “hypermasculinity” to describe football, but now millions of liberal women are flocking to watch the game with Super Bowl advertisers catering more to women, courtesy of leftist Taylor Swift. Liberals are now celebrating the toxic masculinity they tried to war with 10 years ago, and all it took was one of their thought leaders to herd them that way with a relationship as phony as a 3 dollar bill. Well played, NFL, well played. Although, this totally undermines arguments in favor of the 19th Amendment. Oh well.
And coming back full circle- these same white liberal women patting themselves on the back for cancelling the Redskins name to the chagrin of Native American tribes are now celebrating/contributing millions in merchandise sales to a football team called the “Chiefs” at a time when they are trying to not only ban that team name but ban that very word! And the kicker? It’s to celebrate the relationship between a white billionaire and a (mostly) white millionaire! This is just beautiful to me on every level. Maybe I will watch the Super Bowl.
Anyway, onto the game.
The Game
You can pick your teams from established NFL teams, fake teams the game has pre-loaded, or make up your own dream team. You can play at any stadium that existed at that time (since they are playing in real life at the LA Raiders stadium, I set it to the Oakland Raiders stadium) as far as I know, and even pick which time of day your game runs (you can make it start at one of the usual football game starting times, or make it start at whatever time your system says it is). I’m assuming you still can pick the weather because that feature was like 15 years old by the time this game came out. You can also customize the control scheme. There are a lot of ways to tailor this experience to you. One thing missing though is a closeup of the coin toss. One team picks heads or tails and which direction they are going/if they are doing offense or defense, and that’s it. No toss is shown.
Helpfully, shortly after booting up the game, before even the title screen, you get a helpful video telling you what new features you have for this game.
It plays enough like most every other football game made sense controllers had more than two action buttons that you can pick it up easily enough, though you’ll lose a bunch of yards at first trying to figure out the differences. I myself racked up 15 yards worth of “delay of game” penalties trying to figure out how to make the snap happen. Once I ironed it out though I played about as well as on any other football game I’ve tried- it just felt like all of them with the exception of the additional bells and whistles that didn’t do much to impact my playing experience.
This comment didn’t fit anywhere, but one last note is that they use actual songs instead of generic in-game ditties. I don’t really know when this feature started, but since it was not in any football game I tried yet I figured it worth mentioning. Heavy rock and roll stuff seemed to be the playlist.
My Opinion
It’s ok, pretty much the same as any other football game. It was released on the Wii, PSP, PS3, Xbox 360, and even iOS and Blackberry somehow, so it’s not like there aren’t/weren’t other options for playing the game. I’d bet the Wii/PS3/360 versions look better too. So… I guess what I’m saying is there’s no real reason to buy this particular port unless you only have a PS2 (this isn’t even the last Madden game on the PS2), and really no reason to buy the game unless you forever exist inside the 2009-2010 football season.
My Prediction
Since I always use these as a basis to predict how the real Super Bowl will go, I will say that the 49ers will struggle with the controller until the Chiefs get a safety, then as they gradually get competent with the slightly different layout the Chiefs will be sure to keep throwing interceptions (three total) until in the second half when the 49ers lose their lead (and finally throw an interception of their own after MANY close calls) to tie at the end of the 4th quarter 27-27 despite the Chiefs only having a safety and a field goal compared to the 49ers’ two touchdowns at halftime. The Chiefs will win the coin toss at the start of the game and the start of overtime, but the 49ers will win by a touchdown.
C-Gaymer 