If you’ve never heard of it, pull your head out of your butt, actually look up what Family Guy references ya hipster millennial jackanape, and at least watch the gallderned movie.
Image from uproxx, property of WWE
As the midterms approach and the Democrats continue to run on impeachment (why does the Left’s drive for impeachment against a Republican sound familiar?), so that they can start a new Cold War or something, let’s take another look at some more Cold War games… that came out a little late. Sort of.
It was a flat orange-ish color for the NES on the left, it just came out like that because of the screen used.
Today, we take a look at defectors. Historically from the Cold War, foreshadowing defectors in the Left’s future Cold War, as well as looking at political defectors from the Left.
Since the game is based on a movie based on a book, let’s just get the game out of the way first.
Yes, that was the best picture I could get.
Lousy, but it is one of only two video games I know of (that was made before any hipster with a phone could produce an app) whose title screen features a hammer and sickle and the Soviet Anthem (because those hipster-commie bastards who think (if you can credit what little activity in their brain there is as such) mass murder is trendy (1 in 5 millennials in the U.S. think Stalin was a hero) or take the Pulitzer-winning NYT’s stance that it doesn’t happen, and are so used to their parasite lifestyle of mummy and puhpah giving them everything in the world that they can’t conceive of how an economy based on free stuff would fail, and hate America because this country should not exist according to their ideals and their favorite tenured professors who also live at someone else’s expense, would just loooooove to make an unironic Soviet game with a title screen like that, if they haven’t already). That alone makes it awesome.
No save feature, no password screen, no continues, and you die pretty easily. I was surprised at what happened with my playthrough- I struggled for an hour total over two days to get through the first level, but when I did it was an instant breakout the likes of which we haven’t seen since what Obama gave Russian ally Iran in the nuke deal. I tore ass through the next two levels, and then died at the boss for level 3.
You face other submarines, destroyers, aircraft carriers that send up depth-charge dropping jets (F-14s are what they look like, which is weird since they are incapable of hunting submarines or even using anti-submarine weapons). But you have some help in this. You can activate Red October’s caterpillar drive, which inverts your sub’s colors and makes people stop shooting at you unless you pass too close. You also have a limited number of missiles that are way stronger than your torpedoes. Just like the Blue Marine, you have infinite torpedoes. Soviet engineering; it’s no wonder they ran out of money and collapsed.
The levels are just long horizontal courses you must navigate your submarine through. Islands that float on the surface but have nothing under them, random large collections of rocks that dwarf your 198m submarine, that are way larger than an aircraft carrier, just floating about 120m under the water’s surface with no geological feature holding them up. Also in each level we have a boss. Level 3’s caught me flat-footed since it has cannons that knock you out in one shot (which you start in the line of fire of) and depth charges that knock you out in I believe 3 shots. I lost all my lives and called it quits, because this is a very frustrating game. Luck is all that propelled me that far. I knew mine had ran out.
As far as I can tell, it’s a very loose adaptation. In the movie, Red October didn’t blow up other submarines (except the one, but Red October didn’t fire a shot), didn’t fire missiles at helicopters and jets, and didn’t face random bosses that I don’t even know what the heck they’re supposed to be. A giant naval mine that shoots torpedoes, an undersea base that sort of reminded me of Atlantis’ central structure, and some kind of underwater death pagoda. I watched a YouTube video of the rest of the game- apparently the 3 bosses I faced are repeated in harder variations, then two different bosses, then you’re done after 8 levels. And I lost it on level 3. We ain’t doin’ this, the “L” in “Flagg” stands for “lazy”!
on the left is the Game Boy’s intro, on the right is the NES’, both had the radar sweep spawning the hammer and sickle, I just took the pictures at different points.
It’s a similar intro to the Game Boy, we even get the radar graphic. But the title screen is different, just the movie logo. And you don’t get a menu or anything, the moment you press start you’re thrown right into the action. You don’t even get the map showing where you are. But that plays into the different cutscene setup, I guess. This game featured dialog from the movie in between levels. It’s the only one that does, at least as far into them as I was able to play.
They a did a good job with the Russian Ambassador on the right. I assume the guy on the left is supposed to be David Stockman.
The control configuration is also slightly different. The levels though look way different. Your submarine looks like a bigger version of the Game Boy sprite, one of the enemy sub types seems to have carried over, and I think one of the surface ship types too, but that’s it. Different levels, more varied enemies, and different hazards, such as the iceberg level involving ice falling on your sub this time. Sure ice is buoyant and shouldn’t be falling on you and shattering on the iceberg under you, only to have the pieces bounce up and fall again, but… explanations and science. I’m playing as Captain Marko Ramius here, not Captain Cold! I’m not some Ice Man that knows all about ice!
I strongly doubt the Soviets called anything the “Arctic Zone”
Just like the Game Boy game, you get some lives, and can add to them if you pick up the right item, and like the Game Boy version once they’re all gone you’re done. No passwords or continues, the game restarts as if you just turned the power on and off, just as the Game Boy version does. So no, I did not beat it. It’s harder than the Game Boy version
It’s also the only version with the Paramount Logo
One more point of interest- if you’ll look on your right, you’ll notice that the HUD is way different on the screenshots for the back of the NES box compared to the screenshot I showed of what really was in the game. The colors look a little faded for the water and icebergs in the ice stage, compared to the screenshot, but that may just be because of poor printing processes on the box or poor picture quality when taking it.
Well, FINALLY someone bothers to explain what the missions are! The Game Boy version just throws you into them, the NES version does too but at least puts dialog from the movie into the game to make the contrast between what was on film and what you’re doing all the more obvious. The SNES game goes in a different direction and shows the missions the sub has, with as much effort to tie it into the movie as the Game Boy version. And they all make so much since. I mean, what Soviet Captain WOULDN’T want to stop arms dealers while on his way to defecting? It’s a no-brainer!
There is exactly nothing in both the book and the movie about illegal arms merchants. What the hell is this?
The inter-mission screen looks like an upgraded version of the Game Boy game’s, and the HUD looks like a 16-bit version of what you’ve seen so far in the NES and Game Boy games. But here we get more weapons, and the torpedoes are no longer unlimited. They also don’t home in on the enemy, an enemy that is now harder to kill because it can endure more hits, even the most basic enemies.
The SNES version introduces a new mode of gameplay, for I guess secret bonus stages or something. You have to pick up an item to trigger it. We get a first-person view of enemy boats in the distance and enemy attack helicopters coming at us. This is designed for use with the Super Scope. Mine is not on-hand and I wouldn’t waste my pack of 20 Toys ‘R’ Us AA batteries on it. Well, 18 of them anyway. The makers of the game obviously wanted you to suffer for not having a Super Scope, because when just using the controller your aiming cursor crawls along the screen like a depressed sloth (ie Eric Holder after he quit).
Pro Tip: Minimize interruption of gameplay when using a Super Scope by having a buddy replace expired batteries.
The SNES version added an innovative feature- if you lose a single life, the game resets itself. I guess you could justify that by making the claim that it’s also easier than the Game Boy and NES versions so you don’t need as many lives, because I made it all the way through the first level on my first try. So I didn’t learn about this until level 2. No passwords or save options here either.
Did I comment on the music yet? I should. Both the Game Boy and NES versions start off with 8-bit versions of the Soviet Anthem while the SNES version has… silence. The Game Boy version has some custom music for its levels. The NES version does too, though it’s a different tune and it’s AWFUL. Hey buddy, you know there’s more than one instrument and more than four notes, right? Anyway, the SNES version gives us generic public domain music. I’m not sure about the menu or Level 1, but Level 2 was Night On Bald Mountain (which at least is Russian) and the Game Over screen is Beethoven’s 9th. Ode To Joy for a submarine captained by a Soviet defector sinking; I always thought Comrade Beethoven was more Marx than musician.
I have a strong suspicion about whose bright idea the Game Over screen music was. Either that or every time you die in this game Conrad McMasters breaks into a vault. Which do YOU think is likeliest? Image from macduff1797
The powerups are different too. Instead of grabbing a wrench icon to repair your ship like in the other games, you grab… a snail. Between this, the weird missions, and the soundtrack I am going to go ahead and make the assumption that the SNES version started out as a different game, and maybe a whale or a Nintendo-Not-Ecco-The-Dolphin was swapped for Krasnye Oktiabr. Even though it was the third one released it just felt and sounded way too different, like someone had a game that played similarly and gave some graphics a Red October paint job.
The Story Of The Story
The Tom Clancy novel came out in 1984. Plenty of Cold War tension still existed, to the point that we even had Russian reversal in full swing (particularly its variant of in Soviet Russia, Democrat asks Russians to interfere in Presidential election- and ignore the Politifact debunking, they cite an article that outright says this was the case to support their claim that this was false). Heck, just one year before, MI6 stopped a rogue Soviet general from executing his scheme to invade Western Europe unopposed. But these video games came out later- the NES and Game Boy ones were released within the 11 months preceding the USSR’s collapse on Boxing Day 1991 (Japan and Europe though didn’t get the Game Boy release until 1992), while the SNES version came out in 1993.
As is obvious from their labels, the games were released as tie-ins to the movie, which came out in early 1990 (about 4 months after the Berlin Wall fell). Still some Cold War tensions in this time sorta maybe, but not having been cognizant of the realities around me at the time I can say at least in hindsight it seemed the Cold War was on its way out. (Maybe that’s why liberals are so eager to start a new one- the first one ended under George H.W. Bush, a Republican, after 12 years of Republican Presidents. Democrats are jealous- they want to start a new Cold War so that they can claim to be the ones that ended it, like how Obama undid a lot of progress in attitudes towards racial equality so that the Left could exploit it for future elections… even if their candidate is a snow-white elderly millionaire).
The Story’s Story
As you may have gleaned from the trailer and what I’ve said in this writing thus far, the plot centers on the efforts of a Soviet submarine commander to reach America, dodging the Soviet Navy, while the U.S. Navy tries to help him (while standing by to blow him out of the water in case they’re wrong about his intent).
Hollywood was ahead of its time. They were Reds before the country turned red in 2016. Hollywood (and the media) spent the election cycle screaming until they were blue in the face. Image from Medium
Frankly, I’m surprised that Hollywood made a movie out of this and that the video game industry made a tie-in. Hollywood was quite enamored with commies, and liberals like our Hollywood elite saw (and still see) the USSR and its ilk as the closest thing to paradise that the world has achieved. Heck, liberal/friend-to-draft-dodgers/hero/peacenik/Sen. George McGovern (D-SD) said that the South Vietnamese would be better off if they stayed under the North’s occupation instead of fleeing to America, that the North was trustworthy in its promises not to hurt them. You can guess how well that went for the South Vietnamese left behind; McGovern should really have put down the Astro Boy manga for a few seconds (As for the refugees, those of you who claim racist Democrats became Republicans after the alleged great civil rights racist switcheroo of the 60s, take a look at how your valued Democrats including such luminaries as Joe Biden and Jerry Brown treated Vietnamese refugees with Brown’s own appointee saying a “large minority” group would be “unwelcome“… and of course your liberal Democrat friends at the time were the ones that voted to cut off aid to Vietnam, leading to the refugee crisis which these Democrats you have on a pedestal refused to handle, refugees which according to liberals at the time should never have existed because America was to blame for everything and the North was really not so bad and there’d be peace once America left and this is so pervasive of an ideology that I spent hours searching Google and found little related to North Vietnamese war crimes much as this 1972 NYT article laments, It’s almost like after the war everyone decided the North were angels or something (or in the case of the American Left, during the war) and the Americans were sadistic butchers (note that the BBC readily used the debunked Turse book)… so I guess in regards to treating communist oppressors as heroes and being their propaganda agents, not much has changed (read how willing Ted Kennedy thought the media was to help the USSR spread a message calling for America to disarm), since Obama ended our program for accepting Cuban refugees who might actually like America while advocating for and passing orders helpful for some openly–anti–American peoples looking to become citizens… and I noticed a decidedly leftwing bias in the Google search results for trying to find examples of illegals hating on America ie my searches only showed results talking about discrimination faced by illegals, what a shock, especially after the North Vietnam search trouble I mentioned. Granted, my searches improved slightly when I used the terms “undocumented” and “DREAMer“).
Uh… where was I? As for the video game industry, I always just assumed they were lefties because all creative and tech types tend to be that way. Find me an Art major (different from Arts… but really kinda the same) or someone in Silicon Valley that doesn’t have Das Kapital memorized and hasn’t burned an American Flag. Plus, you know, stuff sort of creeps (the folks at that link go way overboard in my opinion, but they raised too many good examples to disregard it- don’t you just hate it when someone you disagree with has a point? It’s like saying they’re right about X legitimizes their wrong views on Y and Z.) into their work.
Re: not knowing the intents of the Soviet sub commander, that was the way it was. We had no idea if someone with nuclear missiles was coming to defect or destroy (good thing card-carrying communist and Obama acolyte John Brennan was not head of the CIA then- he’d take his orders from Soviet Moscow just like the party he voted for in 1976 (and let’s be honest- just like the spirit of the party he currently serves), so Red October would be a dead duck) A little less serious now, the Russian Federation isn’t that much of an adversary, but the Left’s aforementioned nostalgia for the Civil Rights Movement and now I guess the 60s in general- since they want/don’t want a proxy war (in Syria this time) and want a new Cold War- makes it so that a situation like this would be just as terrifying today. I mean, maybe this is just part of that remake-itis that has swept across Hollywood and brought us such gems as that recent Ghostbusters movie- the Left now wants to remake the 1960s, but updated for the 2010s.
It’s worth mentioning how the Left treats people that defect from it (like saying all the people who voted for Obama twice are now and always were racists for voting Trump): just as badly as the Soviets treated their defectors. Liberals are always sure to give their ex-
Go on, try to defect. The guards need a little excitement to keep themselves sharp. Image from wikimedia
comrades the Trotsky treatment. If you’re homosexual, well… you’re not even part of the LGBTQ community anymore according to them. If you’re black you’re an “Uncle Tom”, and this goes for other races and genders with equivalent slurs replacing “Uncle Tom” (sometimes regardless of if they know what your political affiliation is, they might be racist to you because you are part of a government agency they don’t like, just ask ICE). If you’re a Muslim, you’re an extremist (according to Facebook’s, Amazon’s, Twitter’s, and Google’s approved fact-checker SPLC) if you dare challenge the radicals in your own religion (whose radicals employ a very Liberal style) according to Democrats. If you’re a woman, not voting the way the Left tells you that you must vote means that you’re incapable of thinking for yourself, and you’re letting someone else control you- the men in your life, either your father or husband or son or that male friend you have or some male relative or your male boss. If you’re a liberal I guess you don’t really catch the irony here of telling someone they’re willingly enslaved by someone else if they’re not blindly enslaved by you, so I needed this sentence here to make it clear to you.
And then of course there’s how the Left treats Conservative defectors. Parade them around (Communist regimes in general kinda do that with those who defect to them), but give them nothing significant (part-time pundits that rarely say anything worthy of RealClearPolitics or worthy of debunking like on Newsbusters, like David Jolly and George Will, are hardly significant) and maybe let them disappear once they’ve outlived their usefulness (anyone remember Jeff Flake? He was in the news…). Similar to the Soviets’ treatment of Western defectors, really. I mean, given how much the Left hates Trumpers, I find it hard to believe that deeply-entrenched hatreds just disappear the moment someone changes their party label, just as you find it hard to believe that simply electing a black President means America is no longer racist, right?
Here are pictures of liberals being tolerant that one time half the country expressed dissent against their policies. Images from AP, RWC, Fox News, and Quora
As I mentioned in the California piece, all this happens because the Left can’t tolerate dissent, and certainly can’t defend its policies. Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, the future of the party, has become the poster-child for this. Listen to her talk- she hasn’t a clue. So naturally when a conservative host challenges her, she refuses. And tries to equate challenging her on her beliefs to sexism, meaning that asking her to explain why socialism works would be a sexist act. According to her. Huffington Post reliably endorsed this method of not explaining your views.
She outright says that she does not have to explain her views to anyone, and says any males asking will be labelled as sexist. “Don’t challenge me, just do what I tell you, otherwise you face punishment, I’m right and anyone opposed to me has an ulterior motive because I’m so right on everything that no other points of view are acceptable.” This coming from the party that says women who vote Republican aren’t thinking for themselves, from the self-proclaimed party of tolerance and intellectualism. Well, Ocasio-Cortez IS a socialist (who tried to sell medicare-for-all by saying it would cut funeral expenses, because to her I guess the VA scandal never happened or soldiers don’t matter. Given her desire to slash military spending to fund her corruption-ready programs…), and every socialist government has this kind of governing style where they tell you what you are supposed to think and you’re an enemy if you dare object, and intellectuals love communism, so there you go.
And ironically, the same media that carries Ocasio-Cortez on their shoulders as the next big thing are the very same ones worrying that Democracy is at an end. What kind of Democracy is it where you’re only allowed to think and vote in one way? The USSR held mock elections (so fake that voters stopped voting and just wrote on the back of their ballots what the problems were in their area), I guess that’s the kind of Democracy liberals in the media and liberals like Ocasio-Cortez want. Ocasio-Cortez did say she was all for universal employment, I guess that means politicians get to keep their jobs too.
I suppose you’re now calling me a hypocrite.
You’re the party that claimed Trump was bad for attacking a gold star family after the father attacked him, and then you went and attacked the mother of a cancer survivor because she thanked Trump’s son for donating to a childrens’ hospital.
I admit, I rarely hesitate to toss insults at the Left and probably seem about as welcoming to a defector as the 38th Parallel’s DMZ. Well, darn it I get so flustered seeing
It would be a little more welcoming if it were greener (not Army green but green green)… and had fewer landmines. Image from thrifty nomads
the Left spew insults about people like me to the majority of the country and across the world, certainly way more people than anyone on my side could ever hope to reach! Think about it- if you insult me, it can be on social media to millions of followers worldwide because you’re a celebrity, in a movie that millions worldwide will see and will provide millions of dollars to you to fuel your messaging against me, on one of the big three TV news providers or part of your 2-1 cable news advantage (CNN and MSNBC vs Fox News, BloombergTV and CNBC vs Fox Business), in printed media which your side dominates whether it’s books or newspapers or magazines, in any artistic field from poetry to painting (NEA grants are only given to liberals, just like arts organizations, which makes the kerfluffle about Trump defunding NEA hilarious because it means liberals aren’t even willing to privately fund their own art projects despite all the Silicon Valley billionaires, liberal millionaires, and celebrities like Rosie O’Donnell), in most forums, blogs, online publications, and comments sections of websites and YouTube videos and the like, ie everywhere on the internet- which seems dominated by liberals- (that’s more of a qualitative assessment), in our public schools and universities (which follow the Communist Party model of telling you what to think, not allowing for contrary opinions, like in Europe which is no wonder why the Left says they’re the model to follow, which make it ironic when the Left complains that people who vote against them are either brainwashed or not thinking for themselves), and in our living rooms if we watch just about anything on TV that isn’t Fox News, from late-night “comedy” shows to prime time programming, all of which is consumed by people worldwide.
Then of course there’s the wealth gap– your side whines about Republicans and dark money and the like, when your side routinely raises much more money. You complain that the rich are destroying the country when most of them vote Democrat. SO- money and mouthpieces are all on your side, and all insulting me for daring to disagree, despite every fact I base my views on still being available for you to consume, and the biases of your fact-givers disclosed, if you dared to do more than listen to the party line. How do you think I’m going to react, greet your side with tea and cookies? To me, I guess much as it is to you, your defectors are just people who decided that racism, corruption, poverty for all, and mass murder are bits of history not worth repeating. Bravo?
What Do You Think?
Looks like such a fun game, vote Democrat and make it happen! Consider the party you want to support. Vote independent if you don’t like the Republicans, write-in someone’s name. Just don’t assume that the Democrats are any better just because they claim they are. Unless you’ve read all there is and somehow think an inverted Cold War with America as the commie superpower and Russia as the leader of the not-so-free world is the best possible scenario. I bet you’re one of those liberal writers who thinks there are no such things as heroes, so you want to self-destruct the closest country in the world to that state and make the world stage just some game of morally-gray-to-morally-repugnant superpowers clashing with each other. You sick psychopath.