Being Gay in a Disposable Society

In a way, this is a political post but it’s also more of a social observation. We really do live in a disposable society materialistically speaking. We have disposable plates, disposable tableware, disposable phones. Sadly this convenience comes at a cost since it breeds a disposable mentality. People are now just as easily tossed aside like trash as the phones and eating instruments they use.

This is most noticeable in relationships, especially relationships between gay people. I’m very happy to see my straight friends finding love after trial and error, it really warms my heart. But as a gay man, I know the odds are I will die in a bed alone. Commitment went out the door with the older generation as well as tolerance and reasonable compromise. Everybody feels entitled to have exactly what they want down to the last detail.

When perfection is the name of the game things get tricky, especially when ideology is bundled in there. It boils down to two choices in the end. You can either start to believe everything your partner believes and try to think the exact same way they think and be partnered but a shallow shell of a person, or you can be yourself and die alone. Substance is not welcome in the modern LGBT relationship. Even if you are physically perfect if you are not 100% ideologically perfect then you are only good for a hookup and many guys will lie to you and manipulate you for just that.

A similar mentality applies to friendships. The only difference is that if you put out they will be your “friend” but only as long as you are on your back or inside them. The second you say you are not going to have sex or the second they get a boyfriend you always get the cold shoulder. You’re never truly their friend so much as their sex toy. Always the “friend” when they are single but disposable when they don’t need you.

Now you have to wonder when this started and why. It really wasn’t always this way. A long time ago gay men valued love and they could have a relationship with someone different. When I was younger I was a Catholic. Despite what the media will tell you Catholics are extremely tolerant. When I came out actually the congregation I was part of gathered around me in extreme support with the exception of a few members. I still try to visit them even though I have converted to another religion that’s a world apart from Christianity. This story I am about to share is about a couple in the congregation I knew before I came out who greatly contributed to it. They were both Gay men.

I’m hazy on the details but apparently, they met in the 50’s in Ocean City Maryland. They fell in love and maintained a relationship even though one of them had to ship off with the Navy. The other man was a teacher and when his lover came back they began to live together. They were together for 60 years despite the huge differences in who they were and they finally got married when Washington DC legalized it. What was key for them is that they were around in a different time when people valued other people over possessions.

What fundamentally has changed since then? Well, the first thing is that the LGBT community was formed and quickly became pawns of the Party of Hate who just years earlier were directing their hate at Gays and only changed that outward appearance when they realized they could make slaves out of another gullible demographic using lies. Frankly, when Democrats touch something it becomes corrupted very easily. So along with this growing culture of disposable things they were taught by the party that views people as possessions that they should pursue what they want while ignoring laws, the rights of others and how their actions adversely affect others. But that was not the end of this story.

Compounded by a disposable society and the manipulation of the party of hate, Gays entered the 90’s with a slightly selfish momentum but this still was not universal and they even had occasions where they could cast aside selfishness. Then in the 90’s we saw the rise of the special snowflake mentality. It took hold in some teenagers including LGBT teens but it took deeper root in children born in this decade. By the start of the 21st century a force of loud and selfish children arose which has since grown larger every year, and this manifests in the LGBT spectrum of society as gay and lesbians intolerant to what others believe and who readily dispose of anybody in their lives who challenges anything they say or believe. Even among gay conservatives the special snowflake mentality has set in a lot of them though to a lesser degree, but still substantial one. There are still some Gays and Lesbians left who are tolerant, but they are very hard to find and in my experience they live very far away.

If there is any hope I find it in two places but both become an issue of distance for someone like me. First, there are Gays and Lesbians overseas. I find they are a lot more likely to tolerate different points of view, even conservative ones. They seem more relaxed and less influenced by the special snowflake mentality or the lure of a disposable society. They look like hopeless romantics from where I sit and that’s a good thing. The next are gays who sadly live far away from me but show tolerance or objectivity. There are 2 or 3 tolerant ones that I have met online and some are even registered Democrats, sadly they often live 50 or 80 or 200 miles from me. Even with some of these two categories of guys I sadly find myself trigger-shy and I end up wondering if they are actually this tolerant or whether they are just acting tolerant because they find me attractive.

That’s the sum of things really. The hope is though with each generation things will get better. I am almost certain that I will die alone, but I’m hoping that younger gay men and women will rebel against the dogma of this generation with a new one of their own which truly fosters total tolerance and respect for others. Maybe in the next 10 or 20 or maybe even 30 years, a political movement will form that is truly Pro-LGBT and not just pretending to be to get votes for votes for a political party while setting them up for failure. The sad thing though is for someone like me it is too late, and barring a miracle person entering my life I will live alone and die with only my baby sister and her family there to comfort me on my deathbed. I will not be alone in a literal sense but I will have spent my life alone after sharing what little love extra I had to share with all of the wrong people.